Financially Single vs. Financially Married: How to Combine (or Keep Separate) Money in a Relationship
Money & Relationships: The Ultimate Compatibility Test
Love is grand, but have you tried syncing spending habits with another human? It’s one of the biggest financial (and emotional) challenges couples face. Some swear by fully combined finances, others keep things separate, and then there’s the hybrid model that tries to do both. So, which is right for you?
Let’s break down the three main approaches so you can avoid awkward money fights and find the system that actually works for your relationship.
Option 1: The ‘All In’ Approach (Fully Combined Finances)
Best For: Couples who see money as ‘ours’ and value complete transparency.
How It Works:
All income, expenses, savings, and investments go into joint accounts.
No ‘mine and yours’—just ‘ours.’
Works well if both partners earn similar amounts or have a shared financial philosophy.
Potential Issues:
Can feel unfair if one partner earns significantly more.
Risky if financial goals aren’t aligned.
No personal spending ‘freedom’ without discussion.
Option 2: The ‘Yours, Mine & Ours’ Model (Hybrid Finances)
Best For: Couples who want shared expenses but also some financial independence.
How It Works:
Both partners keep individual accounts for personal spending.
A joint account covers shared expenses (rent, bills, groceries, etc.).
Contributions to the joint account are either equal or proportional based on income.
Potential Issues:
Requires ongoing communication to ensure fairness.
If one partner earns significantly less, they may feel financially constrained.
Disagreements on what counts as ‘shared expenses’ can arise.
Option 3: The ‘Financially Independent Roommates’ Approach (Fully Separate Finances)
Best For: Couples who value autonomy and don’t want to merge financial lives completely.
How It Works:
Each partner maintains separate bank accounts.
Bills are split down the middle (or proportionally if incomes vary).
Each person makes their own financial decisions independently.
Potential Issues:
May feel less ‘team-like’ and more like roommates.
If one partner faces financial hardship, the other may feel resentful about bailing them out.
Can be tricky when making big financial decisions together (buying a house, having kids, etc.).
So, Which Approach is Best?
There’s no right or wrong way—just what works best for you as a couple. The key is honest conversations about money before it becomes an issue.
Ask Yourselves:
How do we define fairness in our financial setup?
How will we handle unexpected financial events?
What are our shared financial goals?
No matter which model you choose, clarity and communication will keep financial stress from creeping into your relationship.
p.s. not advice obvs!