Earning More or Less than Your Friends: How to Navigate the Friendship Finance Gap
Money in friendships is the conversation nobody wants to have — so instead, we pretend we’re all fine splitting the bill, keeping quiet
Money in friendships is the conversation nobody wants to have — so instead we split the bill 50/50, quietly resent it, and Venmo each other for £3.20 like it’s a hostage negotiation.
But at some point, you’ll notice it. Your salaries will stop matching; so will your lifestyles. And suddenly your weekend plans don’t hit the same.
Let’s talk about the awkward bit — what happens when salaries create a rift, even if no one says it out loud.
But here’s the truth:
Unless you're honest about it, one of you is going to end up skint, stressed, or quietly fuming over a £25 cocktail.
🥂 The Silent Strain of Unequal Incomes
If you earn less than your friends, you become a master of pretending. You fake enthusiasm for group dinners, chip in for gifts you can’t afford, and say yes to trips that make your stomach turn.
If you earn more, you either end up footing the bill or feel guilty suggesting anything that’s costly.
No one wants to be ‘that friend’ — but not talking about it doesn’t make it go away. It just creates resentment where there used to be group chats.
💬 Solution 1: Actually Talk About It
Groundbreaking, I know. But you’d be surprised how many people assume their friends are “probably fine” with the spend.
Try something like:
“I’d love to do this, but it’s a bit of a stretch for me right now — can we find something more budget-friendly?”
Or:
“If I cover the Airbnb, can you sort the food or flights?”
You’ll either get mutual respect, or clarity on who values your presence over your payment. Either way, win-win.
🧾 Solution 2: Ditch the 50/50 Rule
Splitting the bill evenly only works if everyone orders evenly. If one person had a side salad and a tap water while someone else ordered a lobster dinner and 9 cocktails — just be fair.
Use apps like Monzo’s bill split. Or simply say:
“I’ve just had a starter, so I’ll pay for mine.”
If anyone gives you a weird look, they’re the awkward one — not you.
🌴 Solution 3: Plan Big Things Smartly
If you’re all trying to plan a big holiday or celebration — spread the cost and get organised early.
Break the cost down into 12 months
Use payment plans if available
Consider cheaper destinations or dates — not everything has to be Ibiza in July
If you can’t afford it at all? Say no. Real friends won’t make you feel bad for setting boundaries.
🍷 Solution 4: Rotate the Expensive Stuff
Not every get-together needs to be at a bougie cocktail bar or £180pp tasting menu.
Rotate locations: one week, cocktails; next week, food at someone’s house
Suggest lower-cost alternatives: brunch instead of dinner, day trips instead of weekends away
Or… just be honest and say, “Can we do something more chill this time?”
🧠 Final Thought
Friendship isn’t about income brackets — it’s about how you make people feel.
If you’re constantly stressed about money when you’re with your friends, it’s time to have the conversation, not hide the card statement.
Because the only thing worse than feeling left out is going broke trying to keep up.
And if someone doesn’t get that? Trust me — it’s not your budget that’s the problem.
p.s. not advice obvs!
This article would be correct as at the time of writing but as we know; rules and regulations can change. Seek advice before taking any action.